Just Sit Down, Already

Fomo is very real & very dangerous

Thanks to my mom's handiwork, my immune system is top notch. I proudly dodge flu season like any daughter of a nurse would. That is, until this past month. While I'd like to blame it all on New York's super germ-riddled Subways, I know the real reason was my own damn self.

I spent my first month-and-a-half in New York working full-time, often coming home after 10 p.m., and commuting more than two hours a day. Looking for a city guide and grateful for company, I even entered the dating world. If I was invited to an art opening or rooftop after party, I was there. I missed nothing. It was thrilling. It was tiring.

I never once thought that I would move to New York to become a mum homebody, but I never planned on being out six of seven nights a week, either.

Then, the ultimate betrayal came. My throat started itching. Next: the sneezing and the aching. My voice turned raspy, and not the sexy Scarlett Johansson kind. I sounded bad and felt worse. As I was going through boxes of tissue and replaying my mom's warnings, I was thinking, "this could have all been avoided if I just sat the hell down."

I never once thought that I would move to New York to become a mum homebody, but I never planned on being out six of seven nights a week, either. There were days when I was only home to shower, sleep and walk my dog. FOMO is real, and it literally made me sick.

Knowing that new experiences were just a few subway stops away from me made it hard to accept that I could not simply spend nine hours at work, commute an hour home, do a rushed change and head back out for the night. But since being sick reduced me to a sniveling sob, I've come to terms with it.

For the sake of my health and well-being, I'll be saying no to more things. I won't try to squeeze a date in after work and before doing laundry, no matter how great that little restaurant in Park Slope is. I'll have to pass on that open bar, even though free alcohol is just what I need after work. And I won't, for the love of god, get that sick ever again.

One such night: Still sick, I'd worked all day, went to a concert and had dinner, getting home at 2 a.m., only to be up for 8 a.m. 

Making It Here

It's electric, it's brash, it's the city that never sleeps – It's New York, Baby.

I spent ten southern years plotting my way back to New York, and by god, here I am. I've had a few Mary Tyler Moore moments walking through the city, popping into my favorite bodega for fresh flowers and actually making my way around without getting on the lost on the subway.

But just beneath those really great moments is this: a pestering voice asking, "So you're here. Now what?" That voice, though condescending, has a point. I don't want simply moving here to be my greatest accomplishment. I want to do more. I came to do more.

It just seems that more is taking its sweet ol' time to get to me, or rather, me to it.

"I don't want simply moving here to be my greatest accomplishment. I want to do more. I came to do more."

Moving to New York was instant gratification. I wanted to do it, and with one plane ticket, I did – no depending on luck or time. It happened as soon as I decided I wanted it to happen. For someone who is as horribly impatient as I am, it was perfect. I'm only now processing that everything else about being here won't be that way.

New York is a hard city for many, and I try to remind myself of that whenever the voice gets too loud for comfort. I have a more than affordable place to live and a job – that's more than a lot of people can say for themselves when they first come here.

Since time seems to be my biggest enemy, it helps to look at things this way: I've been a college graduate for a month and I've only been an official New York resident for about a week. A little patience would do me some good.

love list #1

Some weeks are a real bitch to get through, but I can always count on the universe to send some karmic goodness my way. Here's what made me smile this past week.

(clockwise)

1. THIS WhoWhatWear article pokes fun at the ever popular "fashion girl Instagram" trends. We're all guilty of these cliches, okay? 

2. I finally SUBSCRIBED to Glamour magazine and I couldn't have chosen a better time. To celebrate their 75th year, they have special pricing of $7.50/yr + a digital copy. I love that I can flip through on my Kindle and the bonus content is ace. 

3. Ru Paul's muthaeffin' Drag Race is back on and I am liiiiiiiivvvvvvviiiiiiing. This show makes any bad day better. I put $20 on that. I really do. It airs Monday nights on Logo, but I usually catch it online in between classes. Peep the last episode below!

4. Here's a fun fact about me: I'm a born New Yorker. When I lived in Brooklyn, it wasn't quite the trendy, hipster-friendly borough that it is now. Even though I'm in the south now, I'm still interested in the goings-on of my old 'hood (I intend to move back). And what's going on is some serious gentrification. Some serious Brooklyn takeover. From the home of the Notorious B.I.G. to the location of the newest vegan bake shop. What an evolution? But, is it good or bad? HERE'S a great article on Spike Lee's opinion on the situation.

5. Okay, so I know Coldplay has been made fun of for being too moody or boring or whatever, but I love them. This week I rediscovered their song, "Strawberry Swing," and it was the most perfect song for putting me in a spring mood. It's calming and airy and just happy. Do yourself a favor. Press play and enjoy the feeling.